I’m struggling against a bit of personal hypocrisy. It’s an odd little hold-out in my war against trivial worry, and I stare it down with varying success on an annual basis.
I honestly mean it when I tell you that “your age is just a number” and that “you’re only as old as you feel”. While most clichés are… well… “cliché,” I can recite those words without compunction because I fervently believe them. Generalities bother me. “Lazy thinking.” And classifying anyone by how old or young they might be seems but a variation on judgments arrived at via other externals such as skin color or gender…
But, it’s my birthday, darn it. And while I’m perfectly fine with celebrating yours, I’m having a hard time generating a happy face over my own.
The kids are excited. Back in August, I started hearing, “Somebody has a birthday coming up…” My first reaction was, “Really? Who?” I then chose to be impressed that “mom’s birthday” had permanently registered -one of those “admire the picture; ignore the mess” moments.
But it’s been bugging me for no good reason at all…
I like my life. Where I am… Who I am… I’m more comfortable with being “me” than I ever was in my twenties. And I wouldn’t trade a thing I’ve learned for a later birth date. But as the next birthday looms on the near horizon, I’m fighting an urge to take shelter until it passes over -while feeling slightly ridiculous for letting such a minor detail snag me…
I guess I need to tap into my inner ten-year old. But with the grateful wisdom of a woman “my age…” There’s no need to pass out birthday treats at business appointments, but a long bike ride does seem preferable to hiding out under a heavy table in the basement. And a lot more fun…
I wrote myself a note a couple of years ago: “Choose your wrinkles wisely.” It is just a number. And, it would be kind of ironic if worrying about getting older made me look or feel older, now wouldn’t it?
More “UTAH“ coming up… (Next: Capitol Reef National Park)
I know yours is coming up, Heather. Hope it’s a good one!
Love those cakes.
Yes, age is just a number etc. etc. but a lot of other people choose to ignore that and look at your age at face value according to the norm among the masses. This time around, it was much harder to find a job. My education is the same, my skills and my experience have increased. So what’s different? My age. When so many choices are made from a CV, and you can’t get that face to face interview to show your worth, then you are out of luck. Unfortunately in many arenas, age matters. Damn it all.
Hi Heather,
Great opening picture, As for age ; well your only as old as you feel. im 48 next month but i still feel 21 and still raring to go.
Boy i love this feeling
I look at pictures from 20 years ago, and like the way I look now–at 41–much more than I did even in high school. As for the experience, I might trade back in some of the pain of the past, but the wisdom I’ve gained is priceless. I find that I am much more comfortable in my skin now, and I love that feeling!
Yes, I definitely love being in my 40s…I wouldn’t trade it for my 20s for anything.
So…whenever your big day happens to arrive (soon?), I hope you have a fabulous time celebrating who you are today!
Thanks Jean-Luc,
I’m working on my attitude! I think part of my reluctance is my parents not being here anymore. I make a point of seeing or talking to my grandmas on those sorts of days, though, and that always helps.
Ha! Relevant. I just had #52. I don’t feel 52 and am told by folks that are trying to be nice that I don’t look 52.
That said, two things tripped me up upon reaching this advanced age. Two days after my 52nd my oldest son turned 29. Crap, he’s old!!! Next I realized that this was the 1st time I could vote for a president that was younger than I am. Methinks I think too much.
Suzanne,
Everyone loses when decisions are based upon superficial information. I’m glad you found an employer who values your contributions.
My mom was one month from having twin girls at my second birthday; decorating that cake had to be one of her last “quiet moments!”
Bill,
That’s a great way to greet a birthday! I hope “48″ is the best yet for you…
Ginger,
Yes, I wouldn’t trade the “comfortable in my own skin” feeling for anything. -Just glad to get here while I’m (we’re!) young enough to enjoy it! (Wednesday…)
Happy Birthday Bob!
My kids are still in the “yippee, I’m a year older” stages. 29? Wow. But think back on how much you didn’t yet know at age 30, and all will fall back into place…
In twenty years, we’ll be shaking our heads as we look back upon our present-day immaturity!
Owwww…..so cute the pictures. What a wonderful baby
Your blog is really nice!
Happy Belated Birthday! I hope you feel better about it, now that it’s past. It really is just a number. I have been doing such a good job of not thinking or worrying about my age that when I had my birthday last week, I had to actually do the math in order to figure out how young I was! (Notice I’m not saying “old.”)
Personally, I love birthdays. Always have and always will. It’s that cake thing.
Hope it was a good one. I love your blog but don’t have time to visit that frequently.
Warmly,
Barbara
Happy Birthday nice uzun güzel yıllara
Thanks Ronald,
Photography credits on the first couple of photos go to my dad. He’s gone now but left us quite a photographic library!
Barbara,
Happy Birthday to you too! I, also, tend to forget my actual age until the annual event rolls around. Half the time I’ve already rounded “up” in anticipation of the inevitable (but I round “down” when I run or bike; go figure!), and it’s a pleasant surprise to find I’m not as old as I think I already am. Way too complicated! Need to go back to just counting candles…
Thank you JoJo!
I’m only 27 but I’ve always felt older than I am, so this advice feels relevant to me. I hope I am able to adjust to having this kind of balanced worldview as the years go by.
Oh and I forgot my last line– happy birthday!
Keep those birthdays coming! It beats the alternative. And 40 is the new 20, and 50 is the new 30, and 60 is the new 40…… etc., You know the deal. Have a great Birthday. You earned it!
Literal Dan: You definitely write as though you’ve known yourself longer than twenty-seven years (love your “top ten” lists). Maybe your birth certificate is messed up? I’d be checking for suspicious smudges…
Intrepid: Yes! I’m feeling kind of twenty-ish… My grandma pointed out that she was double (!!!) my age at a “birthday lunch” yesterday. Big “wow” on that one. She lapped me!
Enjoyed a nice long bike ride today… Life is good!
That’s great. Cuz you’re definitely looking 20 ish!
Looks like a great bike ride.
Big Hugs!
Thanks Intrepid! I’m smiling now, and that definitely keeps me young!