While never my own hometown, Van Wert, Ohio holds enough elements of my family history to make walking its streets feel a bit like a homecoming. It’s the sort of place where mention of a family name brings recognition tied to the members of multiple generations. It is the town where my mother grew up, and the place we returned to for reunions, weddings and funerals. Over recent years the return trips were more often for funerals. This past weekend, we said our goodbyes to Grandma.
Death no longer feels like an unusual event but rather an inevitable transition. Her life was 93 years long and full of most of the things she had hoped for. I will miss her, but there is no tragedy in the ending of a long and fruitful life. I wonder if I will miss Van Wert, too. Her burial may have been my last reason to make the two and a half hour journey through flattened farmlands to this little town in northwest Ohio. Last Monday may have been my last time to sit in the church where my parents were married and where my maternal grandparents have now both been memorialized.
We stayed next door to the first home at which I remember visiting Grandma on Washington Street. Our rooms at the Hughes Inn, an Arts & Crafts Mission style bungalow now operating as a bed and breakfast, allowed me to peek at will into some memories next door. I wandered down to the stream that was off limits to me as a child and then ran past some other personal landmarks on my morning run. Yes, it was all smaller and fitted more closely together than I remembered, but I expected that.
As I ran past the fairgrounds, the reservoir and golf course, the unusual black squirrels common to Van Wert county, and my grandparents’ “dream home” on nearby Walnut Street, I remembered talking about the details of long ago visits with Grandma during our last time together in her care center’s dining room. She always loved listening to shared memories. The stories of playing “dress up” with her old clothes, putting on a circus for the neighborhood children and swinging from the willow trees that lined the lane behind her favorite home… The moments were singularly insignificant, but together they added up to her investments in me and her other grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I like to think that my retelling those old stories told her in a tangible way how very much she has mattered in my life.
Then…
and Now.
I’m so sorry to hear that chapter of life is over. I have followed your visits to her with interest. There is something wonderful about the elderly with their lifetime of memories. As you say, there is no despair involved at that age but the passing of an era is always poignant and sad. It looks like a delightful place to visit.
I hope that your grandmother’s memory lives on in you and your daughter. I also hope that you will take your daughter to Van Wert a few more times in the future so she will at least have a connection to her family history. I think it’s so important to pass down those stories and memories of place.
Sorry to hear about it, Heather, but you wrote a fine post about your grandmother.
Your post made me miss my grandmother so much. I went to my homeland to visit her old house last year. I lost her since I was a little girl.
It’s always sad to lost people who we love, But I believe they are looking us in heaven.
Sorry for the long time leaving, I am back to internet world after 4 months’s disappearing.
Suzanne: “Poignant” is the word. I had walked sections of the Freedom Trail in Boston just days before and felt I was wandering another sort of historical trail in Van Wert as I visited my personal landmarks there. Matt and I were able to visit my remaining grandmother at her care center on Easter morning and knew that to be quite a privilege.
Fly Girl: Family history should read like a prologue to our own personal histories. I took a lot of photos in Van Wert with that thought in mind. Van Wert is two and a half hours away on the way to nowhere but its own town square. It’s unlikely I’ll get an opportunity to take my children there, but I hope to at least allow them to see their connections to it.
Graham: Thank you. It’s always hard to let go. It helps to hold on to what we can keep forever.
iWalk: So glad to hear from you again! How sweet that you were able to visit your grandmother’s home and rediscover some of the memories you have of her.
So many memories… Family is so important. Thanks for sharing your Grandmother with us along the way. Hugs to you and the kids!
Oh Heather, the memories Van Wert holds for me! And now I’ll have another one: Spending time there with you for our grandma’s funeral. I do still have my paternal grandmother who is also from Van Wert and who will one day probably return here to join my late Grandpa Laemmle in eternal rest. But even when no living relatives are left here, Van Wert will always be a special town for me. From the welcoming Van Wert water tower to the old Elks pool and the various family farms, it is indeed my hometown and always will be. I’m glad you got those pictures of the Priors’ backyard. I remember sledding there as a kid. Also, it was there that Holly squished deadly nightshade berries in my face. And I remember the taste. (Tomatoes). Love you!!!
Thanks Intrepid. It all comes down to “family” in the end. The people you get to share your life with is ultimately what adds the most value to it.
Laura! We just got back from our AZ hiking trip (great time!). Maybe I’ll wander back up to Van Wert when your grandma’s time comes. I love reading your memories. Thankfully, Holly didn’t squish anything into my face! Do you remember when we “accidentally” released all those soy beans from the silo? Somehow, I have always pegged you as the actual opener of the forbidden door.
Best memory from this past time: trying to find dinner on a Sunday night! Can’t believe we had to drive all the way to Ft Wayne, Indiana!