Polite Won’t Get You Down Road

Photo by Hannah Hartzell

Polite driving will get you nowhere in Puerto Rico.  On our first morning, after sitting through a couple of green lights as streams of approaching cars turned directly across my path, I realized that the traffic laws were intended more as suggestions than actual rules. And that tailgating was actually a nifty strategic move for those wishing to make a left turn across opposing traffic. Remaining one with the car immediately ahead dramatically increased one’s chances of remaining unscathed while doing so.

But it was a tough skill set for a modest driver like myself to master.  It was all about bluffing.  And trusting that both you and the anonymous drivers around you were, at least, united in a wish to avoid actual collisions.  A bit of assertiveness, a lot of nerve.  In congested areas, the honking was a constant drone and seemed almost a built in automotive feature, synced with the gas pedal.  Almost like hitting the buzzer on a quiz show it didn’t matter if you were right, only that you were first.

And on the freeways?  Never saw a traffic cop. There were, however, roadside peddlers selling just-plucked fruit from roadside trees and the occasional wandering cow.  Not as much roaming wildlife as we would find later on Isla de Vieques, but enough to keep a driver alert. The concept of a “passing lane” seemed no more than an idle thought. If someone was in a hurry, they drove quickly.  If not, they rolled along at a comfortable speed in whatever lane they happened to have landed in. Toll roads added occasional drama (hint: aim for the booth on the right). More than once, a surprisingly patient toll booth worker had to walk over and raise the gate when I’d driven into the wrong toll lane.

Our biggest driving challenges arose out of seemingly spontaneous freeway closings, but it was all part of the adventure!  The closing of Highway 52 to stage a marathon and community festival seemed a surprise to many, judging from the lengthy turn around line when the freeway suddenly “ended” en route to Ponce.  Likewise, ongoing filming of “The Fast and The Furious” resulted in intermittent closings of the airport freeway.  Not significant when you’re being shuttled to your rental car, but a definite challenge when you’re trying to return your car and catch a flight.  Fortunately my “phone friend” Wilson at the rental car agency talked us through the lengthy detour, citing area restaurants and businesses as landmarks.  After turning left after “the church with a dinosaur coming out of it” (uh huh), we dropped off the jeep and made our flight.

And I promptly banished all my newly acquired driving skills for the drive home from the airport in Ohio.