Unknown Trails
The thrills of an unknown trail: fresh challenges, beauty in unexpected places and the compression of our scattered focus into more absorbent moments. It’s how many of us aim to live until deadlines pile up and lagging stamina buries our gratitude. But stubborn gratitude can grow even stronger in the dark places… we go forward with eyes wide open, not wanting to miss any of the blessings in our finite lives.
We sat with my Grandma Wanda yesterday, summoning favorite memories in her room at the care center. She’s been rushed to the hospital three times this month and has declared it “dumb” to go back again if they can’t fix anything. She knows she won’t be returning to her home this time and that she may not make her 100-year birthday goal. She’s faced her share of challenges and sometimes created a few for her family with her own “don’t miss a thing” attitude. Family members knew that if no one volunteered to go with her -to parties, weddings, reunions -she would probably go anyway.
She is the grandma that enabled my neighborhood plays, programs and circuses in childhood. I’d wait for her visits and Mom’s absence to roll out my latest scheme, and she would quietly cover the managerial details that flew past my creative brain. She held me and then my children as newborns, and we held each other after the deaths of my parents.
Yesterday she blessed all of us, here and away, name by name. We’ve been told the obvious -that she is declining rapidly, but her frail body belies her strength of spirit and curiosity. She wouldn’t mind leaving us now. She’s tired. She can’t do many of the things she once enjoyed, but she also doesn’t want to miss any of the joys still within her grasp.
That’s the sense of adventure that keeps one’s feet in motion, one’s heart engaged and life’s beauty within view. May we all live with that same expectant hope…
*Photo is from this past summer on a trail in Yosemite National Park, California.
Your grandme has certainly gone through many unknown trails. We shall have ours too.
It’s interesting how the spirit can remain strong even as the body fails.
Losing a grandparent must be especially difficult when your own parents have gone first.
What a beautiful tribute. Life is a journey and we should all travel through it with the joy of Grandma Wanda.
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Sad times ahead with wonderful memories to keep her alive.
People who touch our lives like that never leave us, she will always be with you, the ones who loved her and the ones she loves through life and death.
I just read your fantastic post here. Returning from the trails of Costa Rica, I can relate. It seems like we share the attitude that “Gratitude is good for you.” Grateful Nation is an online community that gives grateful people the opportunity and resources to connect, give back, and be thankful. Jump into the unending cycle of gratitude ~ http://www.gratefulnation.org
Thank you, Vanessa
This is a very touching post for me, Heather! Very nice written.
Susanne
Rainfield: The desire to see around the next corner is a great motivator. The heart can sustain the body beyond its normal capacity.
Doug: The blessing has been that we have necessarily spent a lot more time with both grandmas in these later years. The relationships deepened in some beautiful ways.
Fly Girl: Thank you. Grandma has never been easily intimidated. Her desire to see and do has always outweighed any trepidations.
Suzanne: Endings are inevitable but never routine. I love that my children have so many fun memories of both their great-grandmothers.
Donald: So true. Memories can be so painful in the beginning. They remind you of what you’ve lost. But with time, they begin reminding you instead of how you’ve been blessed.
Vanessa: Gratitude takes you from simply getting through each day to really living and enjoying your life! We find what we look for.
Susanne: Thank you. We’ve had to deal with several deaths in the past few years. I think we’ve learned that, while we can’t ever avoid them, we can choose to focus on what is meaningful and more fully enjoy what remains.
Your words really hit home. And the way you describe your Grandmother and your relationship is so sweet and genuine.
All the best to you. Take care.
A beautiful tribute, Heather, to a fine person.
Hi Heather,
You have a great blog. Thanks for the continuing information. Thanks for reading my blog, too! I used the NYT link you sent in my latest post. It is a fantastic article. Take care.
Joe
What a poetic tribute to soemone who is clearly a wonderful person. Even whne she finally passes, it sounds like you’ll have a treasure trove of fine memories to keep her spirit alive.
What an inspirational post, Heather, dedicated to your grandmother. I hope you can read your reminisces to her; she would loooove that!!!
My thoughts and prayers are with your grandmother and your family.
Hugs, JJ/Nancy
Realy beautiful tribute
THE GUYS, Graham and Thomas: We’ve been blessed to get so much time with her. -And she’s still hanging in! She has defied dire predictions in the past. ~Hoping she can do it again…
Bartolomo: I’m glad you enjoyed the article too! What an interesting premise: that we humans are better built for long distance running than horses!
Mark: She watched my kids for several years while I did video/audio work, so all three of my kids have had the benefit of extended time with their great-grandma.
Nancy: Good idea. She loves telling and hearing stories about her family. Thanks for the kind wishes and prayers, JJ.
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