Footsteps

My dad’s been gone seven years this past week. Election Day morning in 2000. Cancer. Mom died shortly afterward, before the earliest spring bulbs had even emerged. Grief no longer grips us, but it gives each who remain a meaningful hug every now and then. The anniversaries of their absences serve as bookmarks in our lives. The events in our stories don’t always measure “fair”, but the life itself remains an incredible gift…

 The "Photo Hike" (Intro) [2:24m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

As a seasoned parent, I can now grasp that life flew fairly fast for mom and dad with the arrival of “surprise” twins (The exact quote is reputed to be, “Wait a minute; there’s another one!”). I remember these remarkably sweet escapes, however: meandering walks and fall hikes with but my dad, me, and his camera. He called them “photo hikes.”

I found a relic from one of those walks this past weekend, a photo of a six-year old me cautiously cradling a butterfly in a weeded-over field beside an abandoned Van Wert county barn. Long-gone moments rushed before me again. I remembered wading a stream below another country road, pulling over on a gravel berm to watch a barnyard of miniature ponies, and rolling up and over the Hocking Hills of southern Ohio . Dad caught all of it, frame by frame. Classical music, cranked up on the radio, and Dad’s camera were the constants on those trips. He passed on to me an abiding appreciation for good music and, eventually, the Minolta with its thrilling assortment of lenses.

When I was a little older, Dad and I both carried cameras for our “photo hikes” through the woods. I still smile at the thought of those afternoons. So does my older son, Zach, who enjoyed the same kind of alone-time with his grandpa. My daughter Hannah and I spent much of our recent vacation together raising our cameras to gather in the remarkable moments that just seemed to find us. Just as I did with my dad on our long-ago family vacations. Standing side by side, captivated by differing elements within the same scene… Would have made for a great picture, huh?

Later this week I’ll share some photos from an afternoon’s meander through Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. It was just me and my camera, but, you know what? I thought of my dad…


A “Photo Hike” Through Puerto Vallarta (Part One)

A “Favorite Day” in Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco (Part Two)

Tags: 1 Adult/3 Children, Florida, Heart-to-Heart, Hiking, Hocking Hills State Park, Ohio, Puerto Vallarta by Heather Dugan
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In my view, everyone needs an Amanda. I’ve known mine since she was a dimpled two-year old, some five years before I had any children of my own.

 Amanda [4:27m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Our “connection” materialized around Amanda’s fourth year, when her grandma informed me that she’d gotten her hair cut to match mine. That’s a significant compliment amongst us women! In subsequent years, our lives intertwined in multiple and ever-growing ways. Church choirs, dramas…she was a dedicated participant in all of my varied endeavors, and I became an eye witness to her transformation from precocious child to perceptive young woman.

In later years, she became the favored babysitter for my three children, “big sister” to my only daughter, and eventually, my grown-up friend.

As I rallied my nerves for my first extended driving trip with my three kids, I quite naturally invited Amanda along. She could be my back-up driver, another semi-adult (not sure if I’m including myself in that same category), and allow me to have one-on-one time with my oldest boy who doubled as babysitter for his siblings when necessary.

I have occasional driving issues on long hauls. Sitting still and focusing on the same tedious pursuit for any length of time are significant challenges for me. When paired with my tendency to drive at the speed limit and my aversion to passing cars on two-lane roads, long drives often edge into “grueling”. I’m an enthusiastic passenger, but knowing that I’m responsible for a car-load of favorite people kind of eliminates any sight-seeing for me as “driver” (“Quick kids, describe the vista off the edge of this mountain”)! I become a driving machine in dire need of a few out-of-production parts. I figured Amanda would take the edge off…

The bonding element of car confinement has resulted in many “Amanda” stories, of course. It was quite enjoyable sharing them with her new husband Brian last year. He was still a “fiance” then, so I took it easy on her. But, I did let him know that her navigation skills led us on one of the most circuitous routes through Ohio and on down to Florida. Amanda blames our extreme hunger and subsequent focus on food. Whatever the reason, we traveled the eastern perimeter of Ohio instead of taking the direct route. I would have/ should have noticed sooner but was gamely attempting to keep with the traffic flow. And, may I please point out that Amanda was the official navigator and “keeper of the map”? We weren’t about to turn around and retrace our wasted miles, so we deemed it an unexpected “adventure”, and rolled on by the lazy little river towns until Amanda goaded me into passing the clunkers that were keeping us well under the posted speed limits. That night, we considered it a victory just to sleep just outside of the state we’d started from that afternoon. Oh well…

We endured a rain storm that felt as if heaven were dumping random tanks of water onto the hood of my truck. We instinctively ducked as jets roared just overhead while we sat, deadlocked in traffic within a very popular approach path to the Atlanta airport. My seatbelt felt more akin to a strait jacket as Amanda had me listen to “Stairway to Heaven” on her Ipod again and again (and again).

Amanda is the only person I’ve ever met who can nonchalantly order a cheeseburger, “hold the burger”… That always made me laugh. A lot. But, as she wasn’t my actual kid, I couldn’t make her wear enough sunscreen. I could only nag a little and then take embarrassing and incriminating photos when she began to glow on the beach. Amanda was the one who finally figured out why everyone kept stepping on the back of my flip flops. She said my enthusiasm would lead me to launch ahead of the group, but when I immediately realized that I’d done it yet again, my abrupt slow-down would put my foot directly in the path of someone racing to keep up with me. I was awfully glad to get that one solved…

After her wedding last spring, she road-tripped to Virginia Beach with her new (wonderful) husband Brian. I got a few updates on the journey but knew that an era had passed. We still talk or at least leave voice-mails for each other most days; well, more accurately, I leave the lengthy messages and she just hangs up, knowing I’ll spot her number and call her back.

I had the honor of photographing her wedding last spring. Good thing for her… I also have some equally great photos of what happens when you don’t wear your sunscreen…

Tags: 1 Adult/3 Children, Better to Laugh..., Florida, Heart-to-Heart by Heather Dugan
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