Date Like a Grownup

Anecdotes, Admissions of Guilt & Advice Between Friends

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Who is Date Like a Grownup For?

Empower yourself to date better, avoid the dead-ends, and find your romantic partner with savvy and humorous advice from the experts: men and women like you.

Dear Reader,
Loneliness makes fools of us all. And yes, I'm including myself in there. Looking for love from a place of isolation is as unwise as grocery shopping on an empty stomach. Snack aisle anyone? And despite more than $2 billion in annual spending on Internet dating sites, there are now more lonely Americans than ever. 

What are we doing wrong? 

If you're single, you may feel alone, but you're one of over 100 million in the United States where the phenomenon of mid and late life divorce has resulted in drastic societal change. Since 1990 the divorce rate for people 50 and over has doubled, and for the first time ever there are more divorcees than widows in this age group. 

If you're a woman over age 40, chances are that you spent the first half of your life with a partner you met face-to-face at college, on the job or through mutual friends. Fast-forward to the 21st century where social media and instant communication via texting have transformed daily life and online dating has gone mainstream. Many of the relationship skills of youth and early adulthood are obsolete! It's unlikely that Prince Charming II will ride onto your elevator at work. The choices are real, plentiful and often overwhelming. 

The typical book on dating, with strategies to manipulate or force a relationship to "win" a guy, only compounds the problem--and is more likely to help you maintain your spot on the breakup treadmill. This isn't a game. It's your life. 

Brace yourself for some painful truths, shared by men and women just like you: smart, attractive and accomplished people who've made romantic mistakes based upon the deep human need for a connected life. Expect straight advice, answers built around stories from the field and personal experience--Yep. Been there, done that. I am confident this book will help you find a high quality significant relationship. But I am even more confident that you will find these insights, mined from the highly personal embarrassments and heartaches of so many wise and witty women, to be valuable in building a fulfilling life. A bigger, better life. 

"Desperate" doesn't look good on any of us. Date like a grownup instead. The lighting's better, you'll get a better grip on the steering wheel and are more likely to move in a direction that will enhance your life.


USA Book Awards Finalist
Next Generation Indie Book Awards Finalist

Reader Reviews

Definitely worth a read! Wish I would have read this book several years ago - may have saved me from some my "men mistakes". If you are newly back out in the dating world, or like me, you've been back out there for awhile, do yourself a favor and read this book. You'll find real life, practical advice shared in an easy to understand (and sometimes comical) way. While this book is targeted towards women, men can also benefit from the words of wisdom that are shared. I would highly recommend reading this book.

CK; Amazon review (verified purchase)

Of all the lessons of Date Like A Grownup, I think this is the one I most needed to hear myself: grownups know that trust is the foundation of any relationship. Dating like a grownup… no… LIVING like a grownup means never doing or saying anything that makes you a harder person to trust.And that lesson of personal integrity is where I found the secret charm of Dugan’s work. Because you see, this isn’t a book about dating at all. Not really. It’s a book about growing up. Its story is about living life with joy and friendship and honor, and choosing the time and people with whom you share that life. Dugan didn’t teach me everything I needed to know about dating grownup women. But she did point me toward becoming a more grownup man. And for that, I am grateful. Even if I didn’t get a kiss goodnight.

Pennsy; Amazon review (verified purchase)

Great book. Well written, entertaining. As a recently single guy navigating the dating scene, it's interesting/informative to hear perspectives from the other side of the table. Ms. Dugan shares many of her own experiences and those of friends and acquaintances. Pulls back the curtain a bit. If you pay attention and listen, she just might help you avoid some of the common traps and mistakes and maybe even figure out how enjoy the process and actually recognizing the person who is right for you when they come along.

Mike M.; Amazon review (verified purchase)

Oh, how I wish I had read this book three years ago! The goal when reading a book such as Ms. Dugan's is to find just one nugget. The single aha! that makes you stop, think, provides clarity, and perhaps even changes future behavior. Such a nugget absolutely justifies the time and cost invested in a book. Well, I can happily report that Date Like a Grownup contained many such nuggets for me. This should be required reading for all who find themselves back in the dating world. Read it early to quickly progress down the learning curve, saving yourself from those dreaded, awkward missteps.

Clay; Amazon review (verified purchase)

A Humorous 'How-To' -- Perfect for book clubs and singles! As a manual, "Date Like A Grownup" is well-organized, entertaining, provoking, engaging and--importantly--motivational. No matter how bad your recent dating experience, someone else has done worse, and Dugan provides plenty of examples and an escape plan. She wraps all of this in her unique brand of humor--which both makes her point and reduces the tension inherent in midlife dating 'desperation.'

MDW; Amazon review (verified purchase)

Funny, down-to-earth, honest, and immensely helpful book!  A female-authored compliment to Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man" - Dugan shows women the ropes of dating on line (and off line); she provides a guide to reading men's minds and hearing what they are REALLY saying. From her own experience and that of friends, Dugan encourages women to love themselves enough to walk away from the "almosts" and needy sex; encourages a whole and balanced life complete with good wine and better friends. Newly single? Don't say yes to the internet "flirt" without reading it. Embarrassed at the mistakes you have already made? You'll see yourself in the real life anecdotes and take comfort in the fact that most of us has done it too (and worse...) Grab a glass of chardonnay...and enjoy.

Kathy C; Amazon review (verified purchase)

Heather Dugan has written an excellent book for both women and men! While it is quite entertaining and amusing (I literally laughed out loud at times) it also gives excellent insight into avoiding the pitfalls of dating in adulthood. I am a 42 year-old male who has been divorced for ten years. With technology (online dating and social media), changes in culture, and in my maturity, dating today and ultimately seeking my lover and best friend for the rest of my life is no simple task nor should it be taken lightly. "Date Like A Grownup" has given me great insight into areas where I can more effectively communicate with my potential mate and to better understand where she is coming from (her concerns, her fears, what she has likely had to endure in the modern American world of dating, etc.).

Scott Haag; Amazon review (verified purchase)

After coming out of a painful 20 marriage, I found myself in my mid 40s and alone. I had also become (and remain) wary of the opposite gender, as well of the massive industrial machine waiting to profit from my "loneliness." For me, Heather's tone and empathy is perhaps what makes this book work most of all--regardless of what you are seeking or what place you're in. The "street-smart" advice is an added bonus! Truly, a worthy investment in yourself.

Keith Fluscher; Amazon review (verified purchase)

Date like a grownup-think and act like a grownup!As a fifty something divorcee, I found Heather's book to be insightful and very informative without being preachy. Heather emphasizes that you need to be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with new people in your life, and you will make better choices once you re-establish who you are. The anecdotes are humorous, and in some cases, hit very close to home. You have surely seen yourself or someone you know in the stories presented. This book is a good reference guide when that little angel/devil on you shoulder is trying to persuade you to take a particular fork in the road. You will recall a chapter, paragraph, or line from the book that will give you pause to re-think a situation.

Amazon review (verified purchase)

Practical tips! Great reference book too! I was widowed after 26 years of marriage. When I was finally ready to date, I found out it was not easy. I stumbled upon Date Like A Grownup and heard Heather speak about the book. I bought, read it and then kept it on my nightstand as a reference book. It help me immensely. It gave practical tips on dating through online dating sites. Once I used the tips Heather provided in the book dating went was a bit easier.

Karen K; Amazon review (verified purchase)

I just loved this book!!! It made me feel normal and connected to the world at large. Heather Dugan has an amazing way of making you feel like an old friend

Amazon review (verified purchase)

This book brings common sense tips and humor. It’s an easy read filled with funny anecdotes that will have you laughing out loud. Heather promotes healthy honest communication, no games. I appreciate her candid no nonsense approach. A must read for anyone who is divorced and looking to get into or already immersed in the dating scene.

Kris Newton; Amazon review (verified purchase)

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